A husband and wife are having dinner at a fine restaurant when an absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, tells him she’ll see him later, and walks away. His wife glares at him and says, “Who was that??!!”
“Oh,” replies the husband, “that was my mistress. ”The wife says, “That’s it; I want a divorce. “I understand,” replies her husband, “but remember, if you get a divorce, there will be no more shopping trips to Paris, no wintering in the Caribbean, no Lexus in the garage, and no more country club. But… the decision is yours.
”Just then the wife notices a mutual friend entering the restaurant with a gorgeous woman on his arm. “Who’s that woman with Jim?” she asks. “That’s his mistress,” replies her husband. “Oh,” says the wife, “… Ours is prettier.”
A father had promised his two young sons he would take them on a fishing trip.
That morning, the sun had barely climbed over the horizon when the boys bolted out the back door, armed with trowels and empty jars. Their mission: to gather the best bait imaginable from the moist earth of their mother’s garden.
With the seriousness of treasure hunters, they dug and searched, whispering strategies and comparing their slimy finds. Suddenly, one of the boys let out a triumphant cry. From the dirt, he lifted a creature squirming with an alarming number of legs, its body shimmering slightly in the early light.
Grinning from ear to ear, he ran over to his father, who was busy prepping the tackle box.
“Look what I found!” the boy exclaimed, holding up the wriggling creature like a prized gem. “This one’s gotta be lucky!”
His father turned, squinting at the thing with a half-smile and a raised brow. After a moment, he shook his head gently.
“No, son,” he said, chuckling softly. “He won’t do for bait. That’s not an earthworm.”
The boy blinked, his expression suddenly confused and intrigued. He glanced down at the creature, then back at his father with wide, serious eyes.
“He’s not?” he asked slowly. “Then… what planet is he from?”
