A clever doctor opened a small neighborhood clinic and decided to drum up some serious business. He hung a large, eye-catching sign right across the front window that read:
“Get cured for only $20! If I cannot cure your ailment, I will pay you $100 cash.”
A slick, high-powered lawyer happened to walk past the clinic. Sensing an incredibly easy opportunity to make a quick, foolproof $100 profit, he decided to walk inside and play the system.
“Doctor,” the lawyer said, putting on a miserable face. “It’s a tragedy. I have completely lost my sense of taste. I can eat a gourmet meal or a piece of cardboard, and it all tastes exactly the same. Please, you must cure me!”
The doctor nodded thoughtfully, turned around, and looked at his medical assistant. “Nurse, please go over to the cabinet and fetch me three drops of the liquid medicine stored in Drawer 33.”
The nurse brought over a small vial. The doctor carefully squeezed three drops of the clear liquid directly onto the lawyer’s tongue.
The lawyer swallowed, instantly gasped for air, choked violently, and spat on the floor. “Gross! What the hell is this?! This is pure gasoline!”
The doctor smiled warmly, held out his hand, and replied:
“Congratulations, your sense of taste is fully restored. That will be $20, please.”
Furious at being outsmarted, the lawyer reluctantly handed over a $20 bill and stomped out of the clinic, immediately plotting his revenge.
The very next afternoon, the lawyer returned, determined to win his money back with an even better strategy.
“Doctor,” the lawyer pleaded, rubbing his temples. “You have to help me. Right after I left yesterday, I developed a severe, terrifying case of amnesia. I can’t remember a single thing from my past! My memory is completely wiped clean.”
The doctor scratched his chin, looking concerned. He turned back to his assistant. “Oh, dear. This sounds incredibly serious. Nurse, go back to the cabinet and fetch those three drops of medicine from Drawer 33…”
The lawyer’s eyes went wide with panic, and he immediately jumped out of his chair, shouting:
“No way in hell! Absolutely not! That’s the exact same awful gasoline crap you gave me yesterday!”
The doctor chuckled softly, tapped his clipboard, and said:
“Aha! Look at that—your memory is completely fixed. That will be another $20, please.”
The lawyer was absolutely livid. He slammed another $20 bill onto the desk and stormed out, his blood boiling as he engineered a foolproof, final plan.
On the third day, the lawyer walked back into the clinic, intentionally bumping into the doorframe and clumsily grooping the walls.
“Doctor,” the lawyer cried out dramatically, staring blankly at the ceiling. “Misfortune has struck! I woke up this morning completely, 100% blind. I can’t see a single thing. Surely, there is absolutely nothing you can do to fix this.”
The doctor sighed heavily, hanging his head in mock defeat. “Wow. You are right. Total blindness is completely out of my league. I admit defeat. I cannot cure you.”
The doctor reached into his wallet, pulled out a bill, and handed it to the lawyer. “As promised by my sign, here is your $100 reward.”
The lawyer took the bill, brought it close to his eyes to inspect his winnings, and immediately blew his top. “Hey, wait a damn second! You lying cheat, this is only a $5 bill, not $100!”
The doctor beamed with a triumphant grin, held out his hand one last time, and said:
“Wonderful news! Your blindness is miraculously cured. That will be $20, please!”
