The Edinburgh Driving Test
A young nun in Edinburgh is taking her practical driving examination to qualify for the convent’s charity donation van. Her examiner is a stern, middle-aged Scottish gentleman notorious for his absolute intolerance of small talk and strict adherence to marking criteria.
Throughout the evaluation, the nun drives impeccably, following every regulation to the letter. However, as they approach a congested roundabout, a modified sports car suddenly cuts her off recklessly, forcing her to slam on the brakes so violently that the tires screech.
Shaken and utterly furious, the nun instantly rolls down her window, leans out, and roars at the departing vehicle:
“You *bs*lute piece of trash! You un*duc*ted s*v*ge! Do you even have a license?! Go back to your barn and learn how to drive, you miserable *d*ot!”
“You *bs*lute piece of trash! You un*duc*ted s*v*ge! Do you even have a license?! Go back to your barn and learn how to drive, you miserable *d*ot!”
Realizing what she had just done, her face goes completely pale. She rolls up the window and turns to the examiner, trembling with shame:
“Oh… I am so incredibly sorry, Lord forgive me, and please forgive me, sir. I completely lost my composure. It’s just that… before I took my holy vows, I spent five years working as a night-shift bus driver in the roughest sectors of Glasgow.”
“Oh… I am so incredibly sorry, Lord forgive me, and please forgive me, sir. I completely lost my composure. It’s just that… before I took my holy vows, I spent five years working as a night-shift bus driver in the roughest sectors of Glasgow.”
The examiner silently takes his pen, firmly ticks the “PASS” box on the official evaluation sheet, and turns to look at her with profound, professional solidarity:
“No apologies required, Sister. To be perfectly frank, I spent ten years as a ticket inspector on that exact same bus route. If that had been the old version of me, I’d have hopped out at the next light and smashed his wing mirrors off. Congratulations on your license, and please, make sure you maintain that proper Glasgow energy when driving the church van.”
“No apologies required, Sister. To be perfectly frank, I spent ten years as a ticket inspector on that exact same bus route. If that had been the old version of me, I’d have hopped out at the next light and smashed his wing mirrors off. Congratulations on your license, and please, make sure you maintain that proper Glasgow energy when driving the church van.”
