A teacher is explaining biology to her 3rd grade students. She explains that humans are the only animals that can stutter.
A little girl in the back raises her hand and says
“No ma’am, I had a cat who stuttered. ”
The teacher knowing how precious these stories could be asked her to explain.
The little girl stands up and says,
“Well, we had this big tabby cat that liked to annoy the rottweiler next door and one day the rottweiler got loose and jumped the fence. ”She continued,
“My cat said fff, fff, fff, but before she could finish saying bang the rottweiler ate her.
Clever Little Johnny Exchanges Cats With His Teacher
Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Six.”
Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven!”
Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”
Johnny: Because I’ve already got a freaking cat!”
“Hey, Mom,” asked Little Johnny,
“can you give me twenty dollars?”
“Certainly not!” answered his mother.
“If you do,”
Little Johnny went on,
“I’ll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop.”
His mother’s ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money.“Well? what did he say?”
“He said, ‘Hey, Juanita, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow.’”
