A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cy*n*de.”
The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cy*n*de?”
The lady replied, “I need it to p*is*n my husband.”
The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cy*n*de to k*ll your husband! That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license! They’ll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cy*n*de!”
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in b*d with the pharmacist’s wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well now. That’s different. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”
Read more…
A guy sends a text to his next-door neighbor:
“Bob, I’m sorry. I’ve been riddled with guilt and I have to confess:”
“I have been helping myself to your wife when you’re not around, probably more than you. It’s been so incredible and fun, I’ve not been able to stop myself. Sometimes it goes on for hours and hours.”
“I know it’s no excuse but I don’t get it at home. I can’t live with the guilt any longer. I hope you’ll accept my sincerest apology. It won’t happen again.”
Feeling outrage and betrayed, Bob goes into the bedroom and curse his wife
Moments later the guy gets a second text:
“Bloomin’ auto-correct I meant to say ‘wifi’”
