A husband exclaims to his wife one day “Your bum is getting really big. It’s bigger than the BBQ grill!” Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife
who completely brushes him off. “What’s wrong?” he asks. She answers, “Do you really think I’m going to fire up this big-a*s grill for one little weenie?”
After 3 years, the wife starts to think that their child looks different, so she decides to do a DNA test. She finds out that the child is actually from completely different parents.
Wife: “Dear, I have something very serious to tell you.”
Husband: “What’s up?”
Wife: “According to DNA test results, this is not our child.”
Husband: “Well don’t you remember? When we were leaving the hospital, we noticed that our baby had a wet nappy and you said, “Eddie, go and change the baby, I’ll wait for you here.”
Every Sunday afternoon a mother found a candy bar wrapper in her young son’s room.
She finally had to ask:
“Johnny, why do I find a candy bar wrapper in your room every Sunday after church?”
He answered by saying that God gave him the money and he used it to buy a candy bar.
The mother quickly replied.
“God gave it to you? How did this happen?”
“Well Mom, you give me a dollar to give to God.”
“So before church every Sunday I throw it up into the air. I figure if God wants it he’ll take it. If not, it will fall back down to me.”
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