When it comes to religious penance, there is a very fine line between the spirit of the law and a clever technicality.
A married man stepped into a confessional booth, heavily burdened by guilt. “Father,” he whispered nervously, “I need to confess. I nearly had an affair with another woman.”
The priest raised an eyebrow behind the screen. “What exactly do you mean by nearly?”
“Well,” the man mumbled, looking down, “we got completely undressed, crawled into bed, and rubbed against each other for a few minutes… but then my conscience kicked in and I stopped.”
The priest delivered a stern, heavy sigh. “My son, rubbing together carries the exact same weight of sin as the full act in the eyes of the Lord. You must never see her again. For your penance, recite five Hail Marys and drop $50 into the church poor box.”
The man nodded, completed his prayers, and walked over to the collection box. He pulled a crisp 50-dollar bill from his wallet, hesitated for a moment, and then turned on his heel to walk out the front door.
Spotting this, the priest rushed out of the confessional booth, completely outraged. “Hold on right there! I saw that! You didn’t put any money into the poor box!”
The man calmly shrugged, turned back to the furious priest, and smiled.
“True, Father,” the man replied. “But I rubbed the fifty-dollar bill all over the outside of the box. And according to your logic, that’s the exact same thing as putting it in.”
