Never Put Your Wife on Speakerphone at a Wedding 😂
Last Saturday, I attended a wedding alone because my wife couldn’t make it.
The reception was overflowing with romance.
Couples were sitting together.
Some were feeding each other cake.
Some were taking selfies.
Others were smiling at each other for absolutely no reason.
Meanwhile, I was sitting alone at my table like lost luggage at an airport. 😭
Then I noticed a man sitting beside me making a video call.
“Hello, my Queen ❤️”
His wife’s face lit up instantly.
“My King 😍 Have you arrived safely?”
“Yes, and I wish you were here.”
For the next few minutes, they exchanged enough sweet words to power the entire wedding venue.
“I love you.”
“I love you more.”
“No, I love you most.”
“No, I’m your answered prayer.”
By this point, everyone at the table was smiling.
One lady looked emotional.
Even the waiter seemed inspired.
That’s when I made a terrible decision.
I thought:
*”Why should I sit here looking lonely? Let me show these people that my marriage is just as romantic.”*
So I pulled out my phone.
Turned on speaker.
And called my wife.
She answered immediately.
I lowered my voice and said:
“Hello, my one and only Honey… ❤️🥰”
She didn’t even say hello.
Instead, she launched straight into an investigation.
“Good! I’ve been looking for you!”
A few people glanced over.
I kept smiling confidently.
Then she continued.
“First of all, where’s the $3 you borrowed this morning?”
My smile started fading.
Before I could answer, she added:
“And who told you to spray half my perfume like bug repellent?”
I whispered,
“Sweetheart, I’m at a wedding reception.”
“So? Did the wedding reception buy that perfume?”
😭😭😭
I tried changing the subject.
“Babe, I was just calling to check on you.”
“Check on me? The same person whose son has been crying all day because somebody stole his und*rw*ar?”
At this point, the entire table went silent.
I nearly choked.
“What und*rw*ar?”
“The blue Spider-Man und*rw*ar! Since morning he’s been asking who took it!”
😭💔😂
A man across the table almost dropped his drink.
The romantic husband beside me suddenly became very interested in his plate.
I whispered desperately:
“Please… lower your voice.”
She replied:
“Lower my voice? Tell everybody there how you squeezed yourself into a seven-year-old boy’s und*rw*ar and stretched the waistband beyond repair!”
😭😭😭
Now people from nearby tables were turning around.
I could feel every eye in the room on me.
I stood up, hoping to escape.
Big mistake.
Because my wife delivered the final blow.
“And don’t forget to buy a new Spider-Man pair on your way home! Your son says the old one now looks like a baseball cap!”
💀💀💀
That was it.
I ended the call.
Grabbed my jacket.
And left that wedding reception faster than a man fleeing a crime scene.
### **Moral of the story:**
**Never put your wife on speakerphone when she still has unanswered questions.** 😂
