Little old Lady in court
Defense Attorney: Will you please state your name and age?
Old Lady: I am Myrtle and I am 94 years old.
Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
Myrtle: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm summer evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
Myrtle: No, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?
Myrtle: He started to r*b my thigh.
Defense Attorney: Did you try to stop him?
No, I didn’t stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Myrtle: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Myrtle: He began to r*b all over of my body.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Myrtle: No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Myrtle: His r*bb*ng m*de me feel all alive and *xc*ted. I haven’t felt that surge of passion in years!
Defense Attorney: Well, What happened next?
Myrtle: Well, by then, I was feeling so “spicy” that I just laid down and told him ‘T*ke me, young man. T*ke me now!!’
Defense Attorney: Did he t*ke you?
Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, April Fool,
Give me your money & car keys!!!
And that’s when I sh*ot him, the little bast@rd
