Three Toilets
There were 3 men who wanted to buy toilets, so they went to the nearest store and were looking at the new designs of the toilets.
The first guy asks for a toilet that would go nice in his log cabin out in the woods, so the salesman sells him a toilet made of wood.
The second guy asks for a toilet that would be nice for an igloo, so the salesman sells him a toilet made of ice.
The third guy asked for the nicest toilet they have that would go in the National History of Canada Museums employee restroom, so the salesman sells him a singing toilet with a picture of the Canadian flag on the tank.
Well, they all get what they asked for.
The next day all 3 men come back with their toilets.
The first man says, “This toilet sucks. Whenever I try to use it, I get pieces of wood stuck in my butt.”
The second man says, “This toilet sucks. Whenever I try to use it my butt gets frozen to the seat and I have to use a hairdryer to get my butt off.”
The third man says, “This toilet is too patriotic. Whenever I want to use the toilet, I sit down and the toilet plays ‘O Canada, and I have to stand up’.”
A blind man enters a restaurant and sits down.
The owner, who is also the waiter, hands him a menu. The man responds, “I’m sorry, sir, but I am blind and can’t read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I’ll smell it and order from there.”
The owner, puzzled, brings him a greasy fork from the dirty dish pile. The blind man sniffs it and says,
“Ah, yes, that’s what I’ll have — meatloaf and mashed potatoes.”
The owner is astonished and tells his wife, the cook, about the incident.
A few days later, the blind man returns. The owner again mistakenly hands him a menu.
The blind man reminds him, “Sir, remember me? I’m the blind man.” The owner apologizes and fetches another dirty fork. After sniffing, the man orders, “That smells great. I’ll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli.” The owner, still in disbelief, decides to test him next time.
The following week, the blind man returns.
This time, the owner quickly goes to the kitchen and tells his wife, “Mary, rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man.” Mary complies. The owner gives the fork to the blind man, who sniffs it and says, “Hey, I didn’t know that Mary worked here…”
