I have a complicated past with men that even the best dating advise for women couldn’t fix.
I’ve been married, divorced, a friend with benefits, a doormat, a first date more times than I care to remember, and the victim of a man who required a lot of space all the time. Essentially, I wasted too many years meeting the wrong men, acting in the wrong ways, and thinking the wrong things about myself.
The strange element was that I wasn’t a weak or foolish woman; I was a brilliant lady. I was also a beautiful, humorous, entertaining, and pleasant woman. I had plenty of friends, a solid job, and a wonderful house. I was successful in many aspects of my life, so why was I so unsuccessful in love?
It took me over a decade and around 1,000 bowls of ice cream to realize that even clever women may be terrible daters. What matters in love may not be the same as what matters in a successful career or a full social calendar.
Once I learned what was important, I was able to locate a terrific partner who still loves me now. If my experience seems all too familiar, here’s some dating advise for women to help you find Mr. Right and finally get rid of your heartburn.
Here are five distinct dating styles for educated, intelligent, and confident women.
1. They don’t attempt to change men.
I always considered men as projects, attempting to repair, transform, save, and domesticate them. The issue is that a man isn’t a hurdle at work.
A man is his own person, and only he can decide to commit, be accountable, treat you properly, and fight to retain the passion in the relationship.
As much as you’d like to be able to direct his life path, you don’t have that authority. Attempting this will simply give you heartburn and take away a lot of your baby-making years.
With guys, you must quit seeking for a challenge and go with the flow of the dating scene. If it feels natural, easy, snug, kind, sweet, tender, tranquil, and safe (almost boring), you’re in the right place for love to bloom.
2. They always think of themselves as Queen Bee.
As women, we are innately predisposed to determining our self-worth through relationships. Men are not as prone to do this.
Because of this, women deserve to feel acknowledged, respected, and cherished. Men are pleased to do these things for us because they define their worth by their ability to offer.
When you have feminine energy, you are the queen bee of the colony. You are the center: still, serene, and welcoming.
The males in your life are like worker bees, providing, doing, caring, and offering. They’re buzzing around doing anything they can to please you, and you’re admiring and preparing them to return to the real world.
When you become a worker bee, the dynamic changes. He is the queen bee, and men do not want to be queens. He’ll get bored and resent you for not holding him accountable in the relationship. He’ll take you for granted and make decisions based on his own timetable, such as whether he’ll call you back, visit you, or keep your company.
3. They’re not afraid to be vulnerable.
When you can soften your edges and transform your tough, severe corners into cushiony, velvety textures, you will draw him in. He wants to feel safe enough to reveal his underbelly to you. Your softer edges are ideal for him to rest his laurels.
To soften your edges, connect with your emotions and senses. Forget about studying his conduct and nagging him about his thoughts and why he does or does not do something. Begin to listen to your inner voice.
While listening to your feelings, pamper your senses and allow your body to become more sensitive to stimuli. Concentrate on releasing tension and walking with your curves. Imagine your body like a palm tree in the breeze, swinging and bending with ease as you go.
4. They let him know they care.
My Pug mix is wonderful. He’s really sensitive to everything, and it hurts my heart when thunder strikes because he panics so severely that I think he’s going to have a doggy heart attack.
I gave him a little jacket that fits snugly over his heart and stomach, relieving his uneasiness. It’s truly remarkable how this works.
Well, I want you to be a man’s thunder jacket, making him feel safe and at ease in your company. We all know that males aren’t usually comfortable discussing their emotions, but it doesn’t mean they don’t have them. A wise lady understands how to assist hold a man’s emotions.
5. They’re open about how they feel.
A wise woman is transparent; her insides and outsides match. If you are having a horrible day, express it. Tell him if you’re upset with his behavior. If you’re anxious about going on a first date, say so.
This makes you feel like a secure, no-drama, no-mystery woman. Men dislike mysteries, as you have learned from others. Only commitment-phobes prefer to play such juvenile games.
Real guys appreciate our depth, which is what makes us mysterious to them. They are charmed and amazed by our ability to experience intense emotions.
Many of us women, like most males, have been taught to mask our emotions by nurturing, giving, and caring for others.
However, all of this mothering is suffocating and domineering. When you attempt to mother a man, you are basically manipulating him in order to control your frightening inner world.
It’s time to quit hiding your emotions and immerse yourself in a goddess realm of soft, sensual, gentle edges laced with tears and laughter. It’s time to be the focal point of the relationship rather than constantly working for a man.
