Paddy and Mick were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on.
It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal.
“I’ll bet you €10 he’ll jump,” said Paddy.
“Bet you €10 he won’t,” said Mick. Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge.
Mick hands Paddy the money. “I can’t take your money,” said Paddy.
“I chєαtєd you. The same story was on the five o’clock news.”
“No, no. Take it,” said Mick. “I saw the five o’clock news too. I just didn’t think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!!
Teacher: “Kids, what does the chicken give you?”
Little Johnny: “Meat!”
Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?”
Little Johnny: “Bacon!”
Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?”
Little Johnny: “Homework!”
The teacher put a question to the class:
“What does a cat have that no other animal
A number cried in unison:
“Fur!”
But an objector raised the point that bears and skunks have fur. One pupil raised an eager hand:
“I know, teacher–whiskers!”
But another objector laughed scornfully.
“Haw-haw! My papa has whiskers!”
The suggester of whiskers defended her idea by declaring:
“My papa ain’t got whiskers.”
“‘Cause he can’t!” the objector sneered. “Haw-haw! Your pa ain’t no good. My pa says—-“
The teacher rapped for order and repeated her question.
A little Johnny raised his hand, and at the teacher’s nod spoke timidly.
“Kittens!”
