The teacher asked the kids what they wanted to be when they grew up…Little Johnny: “I wanna be a billionaire, go to expensive clubs, find a bitch there, buy her a million dollar apartment in Vegas.
Buy her a Ferrari, and a beach front house in Malibu, buy her a private jet and expensive jewelry and screw her 3-5 times a day…”The teacher was at a loss for words and didn’t know what to say or do so she just proceeded, “Susie, what would you like to be when you grow up? “Susie: “I wanna be Johnny’s b**ch!”
A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answers: “Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?”
The husband laughs and says: “A gorgeous Italian girl!”The woman kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: “So, honey, how was the trip?”
“Very good, thank you.”
“And, what happened to my present?”“Which present?” She asked.
“The one I asked for – a gorgeous Italian girl!”
“Oh, that” she said, “Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for nine months to see if it is a girl!”
A young man goes into the public swimming pool because he wants to swim the 100 meters.
At the edge of the pool are sitting three elderly ladies and watch him swimming the 100 meters in one and a half minutes.
As he climbs out of the pool, one of the three ladies says,
“Not bad, but I’m 70 years old and can do it better!”
“I do not think so, you have to prove that to me!” Says the young man.
Said, done, the old woman jumps into the pool and floats the 100 meters in 1 minute and 20 seconds.“How did you do that?” Asks the young man.
“I used to be a European champion in swimming!”, says the lady and sits down again.
“Ha, that’s nothing! I’m 80 years old and I’m faster!”, the next Lady says.
She jumps into the pool to prove it and swims the 100 meters in 1 minute.
Everyone is completely stunned and the young man asks how she did it.
“I used to be a world record holder in swimming and I’m still in good shape!”
The third old lady stands up and says:
“That’s ridiculous, I’m 90 years old and I’m much faster than you!”
She jumps into the pool and swims the 100 meters in 50 seconds!
“This is a new world record!” says the 80-year-old.
“Incredible!” says the 70-year-old,
“How the hell did you do that?” the young man asks.
Says the 90-year-old:
“Oh, that was easy! I used to be a prost!tuet in Venice and did home visits!”
