Between pumpkin carving and costume planning, social media platforms have become a bustling hub for Halloween fans to share their excitement and humor. With a huge of comical and witty tweets, it’s clear that this spooky season is not just about scares but also about great laughter.
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Without fail, this is how Halloween plays out at our house. When my wife answers the door: Cute toddler in a dinosaur costume saying, “Twick or tweet.” When I answer the door: Two teenage boys in hoodies holding plastic shopping bags. One of them mutters, “S’up?”
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Luckily, my wife bought Christmas candy today. November 2, two days after Halloween.
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My wife is complaining that most of the Halloween chocolates are gone. I blame her for making them so accessible in the back of the hall closet on the top shelf behind the scarves.
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I told my wife: There’s only one thing that scares me during Halloween… My wife: “Which is?” Me: “Exactly.”
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One of my favorite Halloween traditions is having old people tell you about when they were kids and they had nightmares for 3 weeks after watching a Dracula picture and then you watch that Dracula picture and it’s less scary than a Charmin commercial.
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New Mom: I bought my kids’ Halloween costumes back in August! Well-seasoned Mom: That’s cool. I take my kids shopping in October 31st, so they can’t change their minds 800 times. It’s me. I’m the well-seasoned Mom.
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Halloween is cool, but nothing is more spooky than my past choices in men.
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Husband: It’s so weird that the kids didn’t get any Twix or Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups for Halloween. Me: *wipes the chocolate from my mouth* So weird.
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I told my husband I don’t want leftover Halloween candy in the house because I’ll be tempted to eat it. He said, “Just don’t eat it.” Anyway, his funeral is next week.
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I just used my CVS receipt to wrap my son like a mummy for Halloween. You can also scan him for $2 off Advil.
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My 3yo doesn’t understand the concept of Halloween decorations and keeps dragging our skeletons inside to play with them. I told him it didn’t make sense to have Halloween decorations inside because nobody can see them, and he said, extremely seriously, “They’re part of our family.”
